What is Love Really?
"... love is about pursuing happiness - and to lesser degree contentment. As such, the true meaning of love varies between person, depending on their definition of happiness itself. Some people see happiness as purely materialistic, so for them love is also materialistic - or rather the pursue of the fulfilment of their materialistic desire. Others see happiness as purely physical - and perhaps sexual, so for them love is also very physical - and sexual. Still to others, happiness - and love - is about caring for each other, sharing the burden and the fruit of life with someone we deeply care about. But for most people, happiness is combination of all of that; it blurs, or rather zig-zag, the defining line. And precisely for that reason, love is hard to define. "
***
The full writing is in the comment section, ie here: Yoga - On Love
***
Update:
The comedian I mention in the writing is Russel Peter. (To Hardono: Thanks, Bro!)
About Me
- Yoga
- I am still working on a more proper and professional sounding introduction. :)
For now, let's just say I am an Indonesian who lives in Singapore but travels often to different countries for works.
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5 comments:
On Love
***
A friend of mine, upon seeing me reading a book on Freud - or rather holding it, since I carry it around just so that I look cool - asked me what I think love is. Thus this writing.
***
What is love really? Wise men and all kind of people have tried to answer that question. There is Erich Fromm with his sociologist point of view; Jung or Freud from psychoanalyst point of view; even certain girls I met when I couriously explored the dark ambience of Orchard Tower*.
I had never really been into Freud. In fact I consider myself more of a Fromm guy, or even - to lesser degree - Jungian instead of Freudian. In fact I despised Freud. I mean, come on! The guy admitted, in his own writing, to have sexual feeling to his own mother and to have, at some point, thought of killing his own father because he thought his father stole his mother affection from him. What a sick pervert!
Until one precious evening. I was going home from work and was reading FHM* to pass time - accidentally, just in front of me stood a very gorgeous lady with short skirt, sexy feet, firm bossom, well endowed top with low cut blazer.... hmmm, yummy! That was when I had the most profound revelation in my life.
(This, btw, proves to the contrary the misleading assumption that people who read FHM regularly tend to be shallow and superficial. As my experience shows, FHM is full of inspirational and thought provoking articles. In fact I can be as bold as to claim that by reading FHM regularly, one - especially man - will understand himself better.)
To Freud, everything has to do with sex. He postulated that the most basic energy is sexual energy. To his credit he said that this energy can be channelled or transformed to different - more proper - energy. Still through all its transformations, its primitive roots remained unaltered.
So am I. No, not the theory part but the sex part. I realize, shamelessly, that for me everything has to do with sex. Seriously. I can practically relate every mundane happening in my day into sex related thought. I can, subconciously, interpret any innocent abbreviation into dirty one. I can turn any decent conversion with friends into sex talk. I can.... well, just try me!
Heck, I even dangerously close to turn this writing into a sex talk.... (Stop!!! Back to the point! Back to the point!)
So, what is love really? I don't proclaim that I have the answer. But I can tell you what I observe from many love fools around me.
First and foremost, love is pathetic. Seriously! Just look at people around us, our friends, our family, anybody we know who is in love. Observe how pathetic they are. Or if you happen to be one in love, just stop, get out of yourself and look at yourself objectively from the outside - or easier way, just ask your friends who are not in love, or better still, who have just been dumped.
Tom Cruise jumping in a couch in front of a nation-wide audience? Or someone, let's just call him X, who spent almost a thousand dollar every month in IDD* phone bill for calling his supposed love interest in Indonesia? Heck, they haven't even formally dating. And for what? So that he can sleep over those warm and fuzzy feeling, dreaming about her in technicolor and waking up with stupid smile all over his face and daydreaming the rest of the day, rendering himself incapable of doing anything remotely sensical? Or another one, let's just call him Y, who bought a rose in Jakarta, brought it shamelessly through the smiling eyes of Indonesian custom officials, argued with the stewardess who wouldn't let him bring the rose into the cabin but wouldn't help him keep it either - in other words, she told him to just dump it away, resignedly put the rose into his bag - so cautiosly and carefully, felt helplessly romantic the whole flight daydreaming all kind of scenarios on how he was gonna present the rose to his girlfriend - dramatically of course, only to find out - when he reached Changi* - that all the petals had fallen apart?
Love is also selfish. If you really love someone, would you consider sharing him/her with somebody else? No way! Love is, by nature, possesive. You would probably even consider hiring a hitman to "retire" anybody who have, even remotely, displayed intention to take away your object of love. And if you couldn't afford one, or when you are feeling extremely lucky, you probably consider doing it yourself. That unless you are into threesome or similar thing, in which case.... Well, I rest my case. (You sick bastard!!!)
There is valid reason why love has never stopped being the inspiration for so many romantic comedy movies and sitcom series. That's because love is funny, eventhough sometimes in a clumsy kind of way, not only for someone who is in love but most importantly for others who know someone who is love. Love has always been and will always be the source of jokes, satires and poems. Unless of course you are brokenhearted, and contemplating suicide, in which case I blame your mood swing and your negative point of view instead of my bias observation.
Tom Cruise jumping in a couch in front of a nation wide audience? Or someone, let's just call him X, who spent almost a thousand dollar every month in IDD* phone bill for calling his supposed love interest in Indonesia? Heck, they haven't even formally dating. And for what? So that he can sleep over those warm and fuzzy feeling, dreaming about her in technicolor and waking up with stupid smile all over his face and daydreaming the rest of the day, rendering himself incapable of doing anything remotely sensical? Or another one, let's just call him Y, who bought a rose in Jakarta, brought it shamelessly through the smiling eyes of Indonesian custom officials, argued with the stewardess who wouldn't let him bring the rose into the cabin but wouldn't help him keep it either - in other words, she told him to just dump it away, resignedly put the rose into his bag - so cautiosly and carefully, felt helplessly romantic the whole flight daydreaming all kind of scenarios on how he was gonna present the rose to his girlfriend - dramatically of course, only to find out - when he reached Changi* - that all the petals had fallen apart?
What can be funnier that that?
Love is also about responsibility. I mean, if your girlfriend one day has a false alarm - of course you didn't know it was false until it passed - you have to stick by her side and not instead making excuses to try to break up with her. Likewise, if your boyfriend starts to have inferiority complex or show signs of passive aggresive behaviour because you keep comparing him with your ex, or with the guy in the gym or even with your boss, you don't put the icing on the cake by dumping him saying: "You have changed. You are not the one I falled in love with." For God's sake woman, what is it with you? You make him like that.
And finally, and the most profound of all, love is about pursuing happiness - and to lesser degree contentment. As such, the true meaning of love varies between person, depending on their definition of happiness itself. Some people see happiness as purely materialistic, so for them love is also materialistic - or rather the pursue of the fulfilment of their materialistic desire. Others see happiness as purely physical - and perhaps sexual, so for them love is also very physical - and sexual. Still to others, happiness - and love - is about caring for each other, sharing the burden and the fruit of life with someone we deeply care about. But for most people, happiness is combination of all of that; it blurs, or rather zig-zag, the defining line. And precisely for that reason, love is hard to define.
So what is love really? In the word of comedian XX*: "Whatever makes you happy, man!"
***
Yoga, aka the writer, is still single and available. And he wants to make sure everybody, especially single woman out there, knows. As for his definition of love? Go figure!
***
Terms:
Orchard Tower - popular night spot in Singapore
FHM - For Him Magazine
IDD - International Direct Dialing
Changi - Singapore International Airport
XX - I forget his name.... ;)
***
[Singapore, 06 October 2005]
Come visit our Blog Site We follow the shopping market and do our best to keep you informed on the latest fashion trends, jewlery styles, and home decor trends and colorways. We discuss the different kinds of pearls among many other topics.
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